That should have been my big clue.
This film goes on for about two hours, during which time it comes within screaming distance of a plotline - but never mnages to grab hold of one and get properly going anywhere.
I spent almost the entire first half of the film waiting for a plot to start. Waiting, and clawing at my armrest, and praying.
The movie is about this young mousy girl, with a bimbo younger sister who everyone loves, a nerd older brother who's dorky reputation ruins her chances of happiness, and a self-centered witch of a mother - all of whome spend the entire movie just treading on the poor girl's life - systematically destroying everything this kid holds dear, both materially and emotionally. There's also the obligatory jerks at her school who add to her life's torment - a female bully, a male bully, a bunch of rich girls. And of course, a hunky "teen idol" male slipped into the cast for the sole purpose of ignoring her.
This isn't so much a movie as a list of horrible things the author decided to do to their main character. It plays like a psychiatrist's casebook - and once the list is over, they tack on a final scene and roll the credits.
And that final scene is such a hard climb, too. After I gave up waiting for the plot to start, I anxiously awaited the ending - and was repeatedly denied, and teased in my wanting. There are no less than five seperate wrapping up scenes, that comrpise the second half of the film.
You think the movie's over.
You begin to rejoice! You've seen the light at the end!
The film continues! And continues! ...and continues!
I believe this film would be perfect for MST3K - it appears to have been wrtten for the sole purpose of making an audience writhe in pain.
Carefully crafted by a sadistic film buff, out to extract vengance upon the movie-going public who prefered hollywood's glitz, and special effects extravaganzas, to his previous script about a rotting orange and the lives it touches as it decays.
Vengance is his.
This film is the living embodiment of DEEP HURTING.Chris Sutor, firstname.lastname@example.org
they crash on a new planet starting life over with a batch of puppies that little timmy smuggled aboardJoe Yandow, email@example.com
Hell, where the fates of all souls are monitored on what looks like a TRS-80, becomes alarmed when young, energetic Pastor Whitcomb takes over a small Iowa church. Three demons are dispatched to foil his plans. In a scene too goofy to imagine, they stand around him chanting "Fail! Fail!" The demons are only seen by the viewer, (a la Scrooge and the ghosts in "A Christmas Carol") but one closes a door behind him. (Continuity!!) One of the demons looks frighteningly like Larry King, and another looks like Hugh Hefner. Is there a message being sent here? The demons wear red shirts, and black vests and baseball caps with little coiled snake insignias on them. (A sure sign of evil!) But wait, there's more! Like a flashback scene where an atheist remembers his father getting run over by a Model T Ford, and two construction workers fighting with second-hand clothes. Lotsa bad "feathered" hairdos, too. It's only 67 minutes long, so there'd even be time for a short. DEEP HURTING!Dan C., firstname.lastname@example.org
It was featured on TNT's "100% Wierd" once. That's all I know about it.David Adams, email@example.com
I think they would have done better if they had instead done a nice little documentary about the America's Cup, instead of this little whatever it is.Duncan Shea, firstname.lastname@example.org
My classmates have been riffing their heads off at these instructional films. It's introduced by some mood-less chem guy going "This is what we're going to do," "This is very important," like he's falling asleep. Then, there's this overreactive guy showing off all the experiments on TV. Wow, a bulb lights up? Who likes all that kind of crud?!!!!Russell Christiansen, email@example.com