yaawwn!!! It's Andrew Lloyed Webber on ice! Too many Batpeople, when all you really need is Batman (Robin is a whiny geek. And Batgirl? why?) Poison Ivy exists only so we can gawk at her bod. (Turns out to be the only reason to see this drivel).
Vlady Pildysh, vpildysh@ucla.edu
[Editor's note: Clips from this appeared in the "MST3K Summer Blockbuster
Review".]
Highlights: after the hero's first space battle, he gets all trigger-happy (despite his upbringing as a really peaceful nonviolent guy). The allies mount an attack on John Saxon's ship ONE AT A TIME (bad tactics!) and win, but virtually all the allies die except the hero and his girlfriend. They don't go back to the old man's station.
At one time, John Saxon amputates one of the albino alien's arms to replace his own. The albino then controls his own arm to choke Saxon. You get to see Saxon pretend to choke himslef and stop!
Really dumb, yet funny in its own way. Yeah, Roger Corman has talent. Uh-huh. Sure.
Brax Cardigan, MrBrax@aol.comWhat REALLY endears this film to me is the cross country skiing scenes. Anyone who has ever cross country skied knows that it is great exercise, and hard work if you are out of shape. Picture 4 middle-aged and out-of-shape bank robbers, each with 10 gold bricks in their backpacks) skipping along gracefully on skis through the woods. And to top it off, they are wearing DOWNHILL SKIS, so their feet are locked down. Each of these people would have probably dropped dead from exhaustion after five minutes.
The only saving grace of this movie is that it was filmed on location, and the skiers are not on a treadmill with a moving background on a screen behind them. For an added laugh, Corman filmed another movie with the same cast (involving spies and skis) at the same time as this one.
Eventually, the beast picks off almost everyone in the cottage and cocoons them up in the mine. There are also all the usual cliches... the bored girl friend of the head bad guy, for example, falls for the ski instructor. When you first see her, she is taking a bubble bath and singing "Oh give me a home where the weight lifters roam..."
Another classic line of dialogue: One of the robbers meets a lady on the ski slopes. "My name is Jill," she says and he says "My name is Jack."
Because I like to cross country ski myself, I always used to watch this film (which I taped off of a late show with my first VCR) every time we had the first snowfall of winter.
Mike Klemm, klemmre@aol.com
[Editor's note: Not only all that, but the script was perpetrated in part by
Roger Ebert!]
PLUS
70's cars!
Good vs evil!
40's music!
Girls sunbathing on roofs!
David Jansen singing 'Three Little Fishes' while he's being ambushed!
This one is DRIPPING with potential for MSTing on several levels.
Now here's a movie that could put a Bruce Lee film to shame! I don't even know if Black Belt Jones is black, let alone an actor. All this guy does is get in fights in trains (my favorite scnene of any movie) and behind garbage trucks around a carwash. Just when you think the movie is over, another fight breaks out, and you hear out of sinc towels cracking sounds, and terrible timing for kicking and punching. I want to see a movie that stars Black Belt Jones and Shack, called "Black Belt Jones schools Shack"
Andrew Munroe, marc.munroe@ns.sympatico.caA monster lives under the sands of a beach, sucking people into the ground and eating them. Lots of people die, baffling the authorities. A rapist has something *really* bad happen to him. The monster is hardly shown at all. The ending sets up a sequel.
All these factors make for a highly MSTable movie (though the bit with the rapist may be a little *too* disturbing, if not that graphic, for MST3K). Besides all of this, when the monster is finally shown (for all of 15 seconds) it appears to be a flower or artichoke or something...
If you can handle waiting till the very end to see the creature, sitting through lots of below average dialogue, and some really ugly clothing, this is a pretty funny movie.
Demian Katz, katz@netaxs.comIf you haven't watched it, do so at your own risk. But be sure to dub a copy the first time you watch it, it was horribly mass produced, and seems to wear out after 5 or 6 viewings.
MoooCat@aol.comFor some reason, they felt it was nessecary to turn Bernard Marx from a mild-mannered social outcast into a well-adjusted (if somewhat rebellious) member of society and throw in a strong mutual bond between him and Lenina. The rest of this miserable interpretation follows suit. John's father creates a major cover-up concerning his fatherhood, even training a Delta to kill Bernard (What?). John is almost accidentally killed at the end instead of taking his own life, leaving a much weaker impression. Lenina discovers she's pregnant with Bernard's baby, and the two of them escape to the reservations to raise it (WHAT!?).
Do filmmakers even read the books they base their movies on?
Edward Griffiths, griffite@msoe.edu